Please do not read this blog unless you are over the age of 18 and your parents aren't going to give me shit about it. Thank you.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

A Joke for Seth Rogen

A little boy is taking a bath with his mother when he looks down curiously at her vagina and asks her, "Mommy what's that?"

"That's where Daddy hit me with an axe," the little boy's mother responds.

"Wow!" The little boy exclaims. "He got you right in the cunt."

*Interesting side note, as I typed this joke, which I openly admit I stole from my boyfriend, he tells me he usually prefaces it with "She's shaving herself...she's having a shower...and he walks in..." I thought that made it creepy so I edited it.

You're a comedic genius, which version do you think makes it a better joke?

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Favorite Show of the Moment - The IT Crowd

The IT Crowd is a British comedy written by Graham Linehan that if you haven't seen it, you need to do so immediately. It's perfect for the 420 crowd. The three person cast of Moss, Roy, and Jen is near perfection and their bosses (first the father then the pervy son) are also hilarious.

It has a feel of "Clerks" and "Office Space" but imagined as a sitcom. I adore Graham Linehan's other shows "Father Ted" and "Black Books" which starred the talented Mr. Dylan Moran and Mr. Bill Baily along with the girl who is now on the great show "Episodes" starring Matt Leblanc (aka Joey from Friends).

I can't decide who has better lines, but my favourite episode has to be Season 3 Episode 2 "Are We Not Men". The scene with Jen and "The Magician" in the restaurant is too good. I couldn't stop laughing. Professor Bongsworth laughed right along with me.

Here's some IT Crowd from Season One to get you started.

Here's some Black Books in case you've never seen that either. One of my favourite shows of all time really.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Dutch Inside Out

Last night I finally decided I was going to learn how to an inside out Dutchie. I watched three videos, each of which had their own merits to get me started. Though I'd had a real live (What should we call it ? A mini-course ?) lesson (ah ha!) from someone who always rolls inside out I just couldn't seem to get the hang of it.

Here are the three videos I watched to help me finally be able to work it out.

This shows you the Dutch method using a weed + tobacco mix. He makes it look really easy.

This video is nice because they filmed it so you're not looking at a mirror image.

This video was a find because I just couldn't get the hang of rolling with my filter trip on the right hand side. I'm sure I could, but since it can be done with the filter on the left I prefer to keep it where I'm used to it.

So I rolled three last night, each slightly better in structure than the last, and this morning I woke up and just started rolling them again. I'm really trying to work out what tIhe best way to smoke is at the moment. I know lots of people are going to say get a Volcano or another sort of vaporizer, but the truth is I don't like them because I like the social aspect of passing around a joint. But that being said I'd like to quit tobacco and not weed eventually. I suppose that means either I'm going to need to find a decent tobacco substitute (which I have yet to find) or get a hand-held vape.

For the price, by far the best hand held vape on the market is the Vapir NO2. It's digital, burns hot, has great reviews (http://www.cannabisculture.com/v2/content/2010/08/02/Handheld-Vaporizers-Next-Generation), and is less than $200 bucks and I've found it in France for 155,00 euros (http://www.vaporisateur.net/vapir/62-no2-vapir-vaporisateur-digital-portable.html).

Amsterdam is ruled by either rollers, Volcanos, or Dutch glass vaporizers - so I'll have to go to a few specialty places to see what they suggest for someone who wants a portable vaporizer. Just a tip - stay away from the shops owned by coffeeshops and either try to find some cheaper Chinese shops (Zeedijk near Nieuwmarkt has a few near the temple) that sell smoker-friendly wares or check out the street markets like Albert Cuypmarkt or the Waterlooplein for bargains on papers, grinders, etc.

If you live in Paris the best place for smoker-friendly stuff is the section just before Les Puces.

If you use a vaporizer, which one?

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

The 420 Re-Roll: The Best Reality Show? THE GLEE PROJECT!

It's better than Glee actually and it has nothing to do with the contestants who win a guest spot on Glee and a chance at a role on the show. It's all about Ryan Murphy, Zach Woodlee, Robert Ulrich, and Nikki Anders.

Ryan I take back what I've said about you in the past - you are a doll. Seeing you smile and talk to these kids is one of the best parts of the show. The second best part is Zach Woodlee. Not only do you make dancing look effortless every time you move your body, you come across as this serious but amazing perceptive guy. Ryan is lucky to have you. Robert and Nikki aren't shabby either. Nikki is the Annie Oakley of knowing exactly what to say when someone isn't hitting the notes and Robert is pretty good at giving the show the reality element it needs.

This is no ordinary reality show. It has heart. It has a certain spark to it. Plus, it's musical. If you're not watching this show you are missing out.

The Glee Project is a fun watch. My top choices to win are 1) Samuel (the boy is a star), 2) Hannah (she does fit the theme of Glee best), and 3) Damien (Professor Bongsworth is from Northern Ireland too so I suppose I have a soft spot for Damien because he reminds me of my honey).

If Lindsay wins I will swear off this show forever because she's a bitch.

Watch The Glee Project, trust me. It's brilliant, top notch TV entertainment. Oxygen Network, Sunday night @ 9/8C

Here's Zach, isn't he adorable? I know I'm not his type, but I have a little crush on him and I'd love to boogie with him.

He should get an Emmy for his smile.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Going to Amsterdam!

I'll be blogging from Amsterdam between August 25th - September 14th. I know the city very well having lived there once upon a time and I've already spent nearly 6 weeks in Amsterdam this year already. I'm tacking on another 20 days.

If you're going to Amsterdam, you might want to check out my posts since I'll be blogging about everything I do during my stay including the best places to smoke, eat, hang out, and things to do (well things that are fun to do when you're high in Amsterdam).

In the words of Lonely Island, "I'm on a boat".

Be sure to check back for great tips. On my last trip to Amsterdam I went on a mission to find the best places to smoke in the idea of creating a sort of weed guide to Amsterdam, but the reality is that weed is a bit like wine. It can change a lot from harvest to harvest. But I can tell you the places that consistently have good weed and which places suck like the Grasshopper on Spuistraat which insist you buy at least 25,00 euros worth of weed from them or else you can't even sit down and have a drink/smoke there and which places to avoid because they're tourist traps (like the Bulldog).

I can be quite social when I'm in a coffeeshop too, so some amazing shit happens. Last time I ended up trading a bit of hash I bought at one coffeeshop with someone who worked in another coffeeshop because this bit I found at Rookie's (which despite it's touristy-ness is not too bad a shop) was amazing.

I can't wait for Amsterdam. I just can't.

Introducing Professor Bongsworth & Dogbus

In order to protect the identity of my co-conspirators, Professor Bongsworth dubs himself thusly and we have dubbed our dog Dogbus.

Professor Bongsworth. (EVIL CACKLE)

Catbus from Totoro whose furry interior was only less creepy than if he didn't have upholstered insides.

Get it? Catbus. Dog. Bus. And yes Dogbus needs to protect her anonymity. She had a hard life on the streets of Rio. Plus Caninebus though brilliant just doesn't roll off the tongue as well. So says Professor Bongsworth. We also decided against Scobby Doobie Do.

Now Professor Bongsworth somehow managed to survive a university level physics department without truly being inducted in the ways of as Dave Chappelle might put it "the sweet, sweet Mary Jane". I managed to change all that, though admittedly we smoked a lot less of the sweet MJ and more of the crap hash cut with soap that was more readily available until The Professor found us a better hook up. No more having to deal with the crazy guys near the bookstore one of whom had lived in New York for a couple of years and thought he was all hardcore (in like a poser kind of way because he was obviously not from the hood) and was a complete crazy asshole.

Seriously the kind of drama we endured for a lump of hash was just wrong. THC is a peace inducer. It demands you avoid stressful situations, drama, and people being dicks. We decided in the end the drama wasn't worth the effort.

I couldn't as someone who smokes imagine having better company. Though that's not to say I don't enjoy a solitary puff from time to time too mostly because Professor Bongsworth just can't hang. But he's getting there.

Monday, August 1, 2011

The 420 ReRoll Leverage S04 E06

Before I started writing this post, I asked Professor Bongsworth to play me some good stoner music. This is not because I believe there is really a genre that could be specifically deemed "stoner" music. It's because some music is better to hear when you've got two spliffs in ya. He played something - a band called Toy (the song was called Rabbit Pushing Mower). It's fucking horrible. He plays Van Morrison (Astral Weeks). Much better until he accidentally advances in iTunes because he's got two spliffs in him too.

Now I love Leverage. When I first heard about the show I thought TNT? What? I mean isn't TNT for Friends reruns and movies that have been edited for time mostly because they have like three hundred commercials? Well it is obviously. But Leverage, starring Timothy Hutton (yeah that guy from the 80's who was somehow sort of always good-looking even though he's not good-looking), is one entertaining show.

So the episode starts with some dick stealing a computer chip from a guy. The guy goes to Nate.

Nate and Sophie decide to get into the guy's house where he has a really creepy safe room (safe rooms are generally supposed to have stuff in them because what's the point of being safe if you have to shit in the corner while you wait for the cops to show up). The chip's the in the safe of course.

Now I won't ruin the episode, but let's just say if you've been watching Leverage thus far, you know it's been a long time since we've seen Elliot get his ass kicked. Well this fight's epic. Elliot vs. Butt Chin and then (I won't ruin it) this amazingly hardcore moment. Elliot is badass.

He should play Jason Bourne. Anyways Elliot goes nutso because he's trying to save the chip stealing dick's adorable daughter (played by Lea Zawada)who is a dead fucking ringer for Bjork.

Bjork. Good luck with the political career.

Here's what Elliot looks like after the fight, but you'll have to watch to see the other guys.

Elliot is so badass he walks in a different dimension than everybody else.
"Harty" and Parker have a lovechild of a sort and you also learn how to beat a couple of carnival games.

Pretty decent episode.

Overall I give it a rating of 8 buds, if only because the August 14th double episode looks like it's going to push the badassery. I'll save the 10 bud rating for that just in case it really pushes the envelope.

You can watch Leverage Sunday nights at 9/8C as they say "Only on TNT".